I can’t believe we already have a one month old! Time has flown so quickly and I’ve already cried a little, while holding Isabel and realizing how big she has already grown since the first time I held her. I try to take advantage of every second I have cuddling her or feeding her, of her little smiles, and how she stares into my face as I talk to her. In some ways quarantine has been a blessing; there are less distractions and more time to just savor the moments with our precious daughter. Isabel loves to sleep and cuddle and she enjoys bath time, her pacifier, and staring up at the wooden baby gym that her Uncle Chad built her. She already fills our lives with so much light and joy; she is truly a gift from God.
The transition home was a bit difficult, as we were already sleep deprived and Isabel started to struggle with feeding. We barely slept the first night and I ended up pumping and we spoon fed her to try and get some milk into her before leaving for her doctor appointment. That afternoon we were able to get a telahealth appointment with an amazing lactation consultant. Each feeding after that got easier and now she is pretty much a pro. We were also very blessed that my mom had been working from home and was able to come spend 10 days with us, so we were able to get caught up on some sleep as well. Isabel goes anywhere between 4-5 hours between feedings at night and does pretty well sleeping in her bassinet in our room. Just over the last week or so she has started to spend more time awake during the day and loves interacting and trying to talk with us. Phil has been working 3-4 days a week and while we do well on our own, we love having Daddy here.
The name is Isabel means God is bountiful. What an appropriate reminder and encouragement for the time that we are currently living in. I still find myself in awe, that God chose Phil and me to be her parents. After my eventful pregnancy and delivery, the last month has been rather peaceful. And we are so grateful for that. But it doesn’t mean that it also hasn’t been extremely difficult in other ways. Isabel’s first month in our world is not something Phil and I could have imagined or dreamed up on our own. I thought by now that my whole family would have the opportunity to meet and cuddle her, that we would have friends over, and that we get to take Isabel to church at least once. I hate that Isabel hasn’t met her village and while we are surrounded by an amazing community, “social distancing” has made this time feel so lonely at times.
What makes this time even more difficult for us, is that in about two weeks (Memorial day weekend) we are moving to Illinois; over 800 miles away from where we live now. There will be many people that we won’t get to say goodbye to and many people who will not get to meet Isa for quite awhile longer. I long for her Great-grandparents to hold her, to make memories with friends and family, and to hug our loved ones goodbye. I wonder when things will ever change, when thing will start to get back to “normal”. This is definitely not an ideal time to be moving. It is sometimes difficult to look forward to our new adventure when we do not even know what that will look like right now.
I know that there are so many other families in our position right now; many may be feeling even more alone in this. I see you Momma, I feel for you…the isolation and the loneliness, all the while adjusting to having a newborn around. Postpartum is no joke-especially in this difficult time. Please know that you aren’t alone. If it feels like too much to handle, reach out-don’t feel like you need to also be alone emotionally. Cherish those baby cuddles and sweet smiles; take advantage of every moment you have with your little one. Each time I look at Isabel, I am reminded that everything is going to be okay. I am reminded of how bountiful the love of God is for me, for my family, and for each one of us. So as I watch my sleeping baby curled up next to me, I take comfort in each wonderful moment that God has already given us and look forwards to each moment to come.